This is the letter I wrote for Pastor Scott to read at Luke's Memorial Service. It started off as a letter to Luke and ended up being a letter to Scott.
Luke, from the day
you were finally born I think you have been holding on to this world by a
thread. Life was certainly never boring
after you came along. Between the
passing out from holding your breath, to the getting stuck in anything and
everything you could put all or some of your tiny body into, you kept me on my
toes. There is so much I want to say,
but I can’t find the words.
Living with Luke
was trying to contain a tornado. He
didn't do anything in slow motion. He
was smart, he could do brain teasers that exhausted me, he has the memory of a
steel trap, the determination of Luke.
He was going to get what he wanted and he would wheel and deal and
bargain until you gave up out of frustration or confusion. He was full of life and love. So much love that last year he was naming the
ants on the sidewalk and bringing them in because they were his friends. He wanted everyone and everything to like
him. After a week at VBS where the theme
was New York, New York, the Big Apple, he was going to live there when he grew
up. He was also going to build a great
big house for him and me, but Jonathan and Katie had to live in the backyard
because they were too messy.
He always had a
hug, usually preferring to run across the room and jump into my arms before
giving me my hug, and then repeating several times. Bath time was pretty fun, Elmo tablets and
whatever toys or cats he could sneak into the tub. Reminding me to pat his butt if I forgot.
. He loved to snuggle up next to me in
the chair or in the bed and beg for a bedtime story, to have his head rubbed or
both. He always wanted to hear Jack and
the Beanstalk, then tell me he was too scared to go sleep in his bed. And I fell for it every time. After we were in bed, I had to sing to him,
but not all the words. I could sing, “I love you Lukiepie, I love you my…” and
he would have to say the next words. It
was like that for every SINGLE verse.
Then he would hug my neck, say, “I love you Mama.” and snuggle down
deep.
When he turned six
last year, I made a big deal about how he was such a big boy now. He said, “Mama,” in that exasperated high
pitch six year old voice, “I will always be your baby bubberbutt.”
Last year, he has
his first trip to Build A Bear where he made his dog Austin. Austin was then a mainstay in our home,
replacing all the Webkinz that were carried around, operated on and given
baths. He loved that dog, making sure to
put a seatbelt on him every time we were in the van and sneaking him to school
in his backpack.
Luke was my baby,
my light and breath, but he is Jonathan’s best friend. Jonathan takes his role as big brother very
seriously. He protected Luke on the
first days of school in kindergarten and first grade, he made sure he had
breakfast at school and didn’t leave his backpack in the van. He was there when Luke went to Chess Club the
first time and practiced with him at home so he played better. They were looking forward to both being on
the stacking team at school this year.
Nobody could make Jonathan as crazy as Luke would, but in the next
breath, they would be hugging snuggled together reading a book or playing a
game. To Luke, Jonathan was more
important than peanut butter and bacon!
And those were pretty important to Luke.
Occasionally we
would buy lottery tickets if the jackpot was big enough. That meant we had tickets to check the next
time we went to Kroger. One day we had
the Powerball number. Only the Powerball
number and won a few dollars. That
didn’t keep Luke and Jonathan from screaming, “We WON the Power Ball!!” in the
middle of Kroger’s, garnering several interested looks from strangers. I thought we might get mugged for $7.00.
Katie would
babysit while I was at work. I would get
phone calls from Luke hiding in the bathroom to “Tell on” Katie. He was very matter of fact on the phone and
would call several times a shift, “Just to see when you are coming home. And can I play on the computer? And can you
bring me some food? Katie won’t feed
me.” It was always fun to let my
co-workers hear those messages.
We had several
conversations about God, and Jesus and Heaven.
Luke knew he had two brothers that went to heaven before they were born
and his grandpa in the ground went to heaven when Mama was a little girl. Last summer, Luke prayed for Jesus to be his
savior and prayed the sinner’s prayer.
So I know he is there with family gone before waiting for us to meet him
there. I can only pray it is sooner
rather than later.
Luke loved when
all of his family was around, he was always asking to go see Aunt Mary and
Uncle John, to go see Grandma and the dogs.
Can they come over here? Why do
they have to work? They don’t need
money, they can live with us!
He had an answer
for everything. Except where his shoes
where, why there was a peanut butter jar under the bed or milk in the
closet. He didn’t know who wrote Luke on
the bathroom door or colored the white cat pink. Heavy Sigh, “Ok mama, it was me… But I can give him a bath!!”
Luke loved to
clean, especially dust. And if he
couldn’t find the Pledge, he would use the butter flavored Pam. On the TV.
And the wooden TV cabinet. But give him a Magic Eraser and the walls
would shine. So would the mirrors,
windows, and cat.
There is so much
more to Luke, his smile and laughter that lite up a room. His strange sense of humor and dry
humor. He was too old for his age.
As Luke crossed
over into the arms of Jesus, he was surrounded by the love and support of
family. They stood guard, surrounding us
like an army of angels protecting us and giving us their strength. I was able to hold Bub on my lap, snuggled in
my arms while he took his last breaths and let go of the cord holding him to
earth and me. Several years ago, I was
in a worship service and saw God’s angels kneeling in the aisles, wings folded,
and swords in their sheaths. Monday
morning, I saw angels in GiGi, Sammy, Timmy, Uncle Sherry and Aunt Lee, Jenn,
Grandma, Jonathan and Katie. It could
not have been more peaceful or beautiful.
Luke Christopher Bernard Zimmerman was born into this world on Monday
May 8, 2006. He left this world and went
to heaven on Monday August 5, 2013.
Give your grandpa and papaw
and brothers a hug for me and say hi to all the Spals and PALC kids for
me. I miss you baby boy.
I came across a Timehop post today about you. You were terrified of a common housefly, but were still naming the ants on the sidewalk and trying to bring them inside to live because, "They are my friends mama!"