Remembering Luke

Hey Buddy, 

Someone asked me the other day why I quit blogging.  I didn't really have an answer, much less a good one.

I guess because so much has happened the last two years since I posted a blog post.  SO MUCH has happened.

Our living situation changed, my job changed, Kate and Jon are growing up!  Katie is talking about getting married, Jon starts high school next week.  I can't help but wonder life would be like, should be like with you here.  You would be 12 years old!!!  Would you be tall like Jon?  Would your voice have changed yet?  Would you be playing sports?  Running track?  How would you have done in school?  Would you have adjusted easily to middle school?  Would you have been OK in elementary and middle school without Jon and Kate there?

I can't believe it's been five years already since I held you last.  Five years since I heard your squeaky little voice calling me to tattle on your brother and sister.

We have a dog now, and have been through two more cats.  I wish you could have met Koda and Pepsi.  Koda is a big dog, a scaredy cat and very possessive of his people.  Pepsi was the most loving cat I have ever met.  He would crawl up my chest and put his paws over my shoulders and go to sleep. He felt like a newborn baby.  Pepsi died, but I'm sure you know all about that.  So Katie adopted Chloe.  She is a demon cat!  She has all the dogs whooped. 

Jonathan has come so far in the last five years.  I was scared to death for him, everything he went through that day with you.  I wasn't sure how he would recover.  But he seems to be fine.  He joined JrRotc this year, he is in concert band, Quick Recall, volunteers at the library.  He is SOO tall.  I wonder what you would look like.  Would you still be tall and so thin?  Would you have filled out yet, or would you also be so skinny?  Could I borrow your metabolism?

Most days are good days now.  I remember how to breathe.  I even remember how to spell breathe. But there are days, days when I just can't imagine living the rest of my life without you, days I find myself counting down until I can see you again.  Thinking about what I would have to do to hold you again.  Then I think about your brother and sister.  What would they do?  How lost would they feel if I left to be with you.  It breaks my heart thinking about what it would do to them.  Then I forget to breathe again.  Sometimes this whole breathing thing gets on my nerves buddy.  

Katie is engaged Luke!!  Can you believe it?  To a Marine!  I like him.  He has his head on straight and is a good guy.  He is good to Kate.  I pray they have a healthy, happy marriage.  She says NO kids, so it's on your brother to give me 12 grand kids.  He doesn't believe me when I tell him I want 12.  

I've started getting back into crafts again.  I am trying to learn metal stamping.  I would like to make and sell memorial jewelry.  If you could send some inspiration and skill, I would appreciate it!

I miss you so very much Luke.